I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
