I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just pee around me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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