Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
