do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
