but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize