Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
