A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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