I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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