What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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