This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
