Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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