Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize