in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
