You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He did a backflip because drugs
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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