Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
