I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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