he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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