Dual....:-)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
