Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
