I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
