maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
