butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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