Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its not stalking. its research.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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