I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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