Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
