he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
