it hurts more in the daytime
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
