Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize