We named our party play list daddy issues
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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