you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
