I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found puke in my bra..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
