I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
