im drinking this country out of the recession.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
