Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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