just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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