god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
