there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
