Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
