After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My bed smells like the plague
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
