ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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