u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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