do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
