I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
