alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
