if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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