CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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