I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
