Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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