I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your penis caused this!
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