smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
no you cant smoke seaweed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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