Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
