Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
