Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
