He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
