another moral hangover. fuck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
