He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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