I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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