Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
