Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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