we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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