i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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