my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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