Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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