roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
