I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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